- Went into work on a day off, and people started showing me broken product, asking me about things that happened earlier in the morning. I said no and walked away. Good self-control, Jenna.
- Have been plateaued now for a good three months. Made some good goals & rewards & stocked up on eggplant & avocado at TJ’s.
- News flash: I went to JUUT salon in Uptown for a $25 haircut Saturday, after Kara recommended me to check it out. It was an out-of-this-world experience & you need to make an appointment right meow.
- I went to high school with the stylist. & a coworker went to high school with my Zumba instructor. Life is small when you’re an adult in the city.
- I had to scrape my car of ice & snow this morning. Ummm, it’s already almost May…
- Loving my new Loft purchases. 10lbs & I get more jeans!!! (Someone please keep me accountable so I can get them, please, please, and thank you.)
- Off to dinner with a good friend I worked with years ago. He’s a foodie, so naturally we’re checking out a dive bar in the neighborhood. A dive bar that serves lots of lettuce, of course.
- Next day off is Monday. Yes, I work on Easter. Yes, my coworker and I are bringing in lots of food for our employees. Counting down the days.
I want. (And have a lot of it.)
Must. Paint. Living room. White.
Tactics used to make myself think I’m eating a dozen donuts so far today:
- cold press from Caribou
- a whole pineapple, that was supposed to be used as a topping on cauliflower pizza in the oven
- Glamour magazine
- fizzy water
- a pair of size 8 jeans sitting on my dresser that need to fit by June, because if they don’t, I’m spending a month in Nike Lycra just do it pants.
Windows are open & it’s a beautiful day. I hope this weather stays for awhile. This winter has exhausted me.
NPR covers all 2,428 miles of the US-Mexico border, so you don’t have to.
No, I swear I’m not a health blog, but really, this is what happens when you eat real food. Fat, meat, and veggies. Lots of it. Do well for your body & your body will do well for you. & Jenna, this goes to you right now: put the peppermint patties down. You can keep going.
N tells me his dad wants to rent a park for our wedding next year.
1. We’re not engaged.
2. I don’t want a normal wedding.
3. Of course I had to immediately go to jcrew.com to figure out what dress I’d order.
I’ve been going weekly to a nutrition and weight-loss support group since last August, after I was recommended to by a personal trainer. It has changed my life- how I look at food, how I eat food, and how I look at the scope of health and what that means for my body.
Tonight’s topic was accountability. And what you need to be held accountable for in order to reach your goals. Mine were getting a better grasp on snacking, eating more protein, and strength training more regularly. It was one group member’s that brought me to tears: the emotional cycle of being overweight/ obese and the binge eating that follows.
I’ve been a binger since I can remember- watching The Power Rangers after school with the container of Oscar Mayer bologna in hand. Then it was the Ego waffles, at least five, drowned in Aunt Jemima. In high school, it was the M&M’s. And in college, it was chips, cupcakes, bags of chocolate, candy bars. I could eat my servings of fruits & vegetables just fine, but a couple times a week, I would spiral out of control.
As these memories came flooding all at once, while this group member continued on, I fought back tears. That was me. She was describing my rampant emotional behaviors surrounding food.
And that’s not me today. Sure, I will always have the binge tendencies, but now they’re just quite a bit smaller, and on a much different kind of level of food. (Think almonds, or cheese.)
But I was stuck for years. I struggled. I was embarrassed, ashamed that I did this and that I couldn’t stop. But now, I realize that this is not unusual, as nearly every group member nodded their head in agreement, and that it’s a real issue that I should have never just blamed on self-weakness.
And it can get better. I never thought I’d ever get as far as I have. I never thought binging would almost completely go away.
Tonight’s been enlightening to say the least. As we got into accountability groups for the week, I felt an enormous weight lifted. Now to hope it never comes back.
And not tankinis.
For the first time in my 23 years of life.
Someone slap me for new confidence and body acceptance.
And flat stomach from not eating a damn piece of bread or cupcake in years.
It’s April. This month’s goal is simplicity. Simplicity in my wardrobe, simplicity in my hall closet, simplicity on my window sills. Simplicity in my ingredient list for consumption. Simplicity in my wallet.
I have motives for this. One of which is the realness of me not being in Minnesota in two years. Of living on a different continent, or on the coast of the US. Of packing my belongings and leaving. Life is up in the air right now. But it’s a good thing.
Also, I feel so bogged down. Too many receipts, too many purchases, too many candles and llamas and junk sitting on the window sill.
I’m an emotional person. An empty beer bottle from Argentina sits on my coffee table, from when I was stupid and young and high and drank Fernet from Coke bottles and thought I was in love with a guy that looked like Curt Cobain for a night.
Do I need my Pottery Barn Teen duvet cover from when I was 12? The shirt I took my senior pictures in?
I’m excited so see how far I can get with this, and how much better I will feel with less.